Less Screens, More Us

Revisiting the topic of work-life balance and my mindful parent journey

We’ve all been there: you mean to be spending quality time with a loved one, whether it’s a friend, family member, child, and all of the sudden you realize your phone has inserted itself into the moment. Of course there are other obstacles to being present, but phones are certainly a big culprit.

I work for a mental health company so naturally being more present and mindful are often top of mind. And often a struggle. That being said, an unexpected consequence of having less time with Callan during the week is being more intentional about how it’s spent (or at least trying to be).

As we’ve settled into more of a routine over the last few months, I’m reflecting on some mindful “wins” and aspirations - which all happen to revolve around spending less time with my phone!

Mornings

We don’t follow a strict schedule, but typically wake up and get out of bed around 7 am. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Besides some alone time to shower, I’ve started to think of 7-8:30 (when our part-time nanny arrives) as sacred baby time. What does this typically look like?

• 7:30-8ish: have coffee while baby eats some solids (oatmeal, eggs or “eggies” as they’ve become)

• 8-8:30: play upstairs

• 8:30: nanny handoff

Occasionally there’s a dog walk in here too, though I typically do that at 8:30 when the nanny arrives and before my meetings start. Sometimes I am multi-tasking during this time with Slack and Email, but really trying to avoid this if possible. I do like to check in to make sure nothing is on fire (thankfully relatively rare in my world) - so maybe this will evolve into a quick schedule peek/check-in until I really get into my workday around 8:30.

The simple joy of mealtime

Evenings

Similar to 7-8:30am, 4-6pm is another block of sacred baby time. Our nanny leaves at 4 and then I take over until Callan goes to bed, usually between 6 and 7pm.

There are some exceptions to this: Thursdays I typically go into the office so am usually home between 5-6pm or later if I’m socializing with coworkers or friends. Occasionally I have later meetings and Spyq will cover after the nanny leaves.

• 4-5ish: Play with Callan, sometimes an early solids dinner for baby.

• 5-5:30: Family dog walk (this is also a nice way to make sure Spyq and I have some time together).

• 5:30-6:30ish: Bedtime routine- bath, play, eat, bed.

The tradeoff of ending my workday a little earlier is that I often get back on email and Slack later in the evening. Thankfully, I have fewer time-sensitive fires compared to many other functions- if I structure my day and work efficiently, I rarely need to do a lot of work late unless there are extenuating circumstances.

Another tradeoff is finding time to work out- historically, 4-6 pm was my most common workout time. Now I try to squeeze in 20 minutes before the nanny leaves at 4 if my work schedule allows, or after Callan goes to bed. I don’t love working out later, but sometimes it’s a necessary evil.

Playtime upstairs has become another special ritual

Weekends

Weekends are much more variable depending on whether we’re traveling, have lots of social plans, or are just hanging out at home. I haven’t thought about this chunk of time as much since there’s more of it, but I am trying to appreciate little moments with baby as much as possible- contact naps, playtime, mealtime. It’s easy to default to picking up my phone to scroll, and I’d really like to avoid doing that as much as possible. And as much as I love family adventures, I’m also thinking about how I can appreciate solo adventures with the little guy - for example on MLK day, we took a trip to Tiburon to hike and have lunch and it was unexpectedly lovely.

A few recent weekend adventures... and snoozes

Mindful Goals & Aspirations

• Actually deleting social media apps off my phone- yes, that includes Substack. I’ve been experimenting with ScreenZen, but haven’t found it super successful yet.

• Treating my cell phone like a landline and keeping it in one spot in the house unless there’s an intentional use for it. We briefly tried to implement “phone-free zones” (e.g., couch while watching TV, bed), but have fallen out of this habit.

• Instituting one phone-free day on the weekend- or at least a half-day to start. A big challenge for me is wanting to take photos all the time so trying to think about how I can do this while not falling into the trap of using other apps.

• Mindful dog/baby walks- leaving my phone at home or at least in my pocket. I’ve started to do this more recently.

At the end of the day, it’s a journey and a practice. Being present isn’t about achieving some perfect end state- it’s soaking in the small, everyday moments that spark joy. The smiles and giggles, bath time, monkey noises, sleepy cuddles - these moments are priceless and memorable, yet fleeting. So rather than striving for some unrealistic standard, I’m practicing, one moment and day at a time.

Send all your mindful / phone-free tips my way!